It would have been you...

When I went on my first date in high school....

I know I would have told you about it first.

When I went to college and cried the whole first night...
I know I would have called you for advice and encouragement.

When I first met Eric, and realized I would marry him someday...
I know I would have giggled with excitement about it with you.

When I was pregnant with my first baby...
I know I would have been anticipating having you by my side.

When I need to get out and have a good laugh...
I know you would have been the first person I would call.

But you aren't here.
I can't call you, see you, hug you, cry with you, rejoice with you.

I don't have any memories of you past April 14, 1989.

And to be honest... it stinks!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have been brave.

For almost 20 years I have been brave without you.

I have cried and I have laughed and I have loved.
But when I lay my head on my pillow at night,
or when I am driving in the car,
or looking in my children's eyes...

I miss you with every ounce of my being.
~~~~~~~~~~~~

I've tried to fill your void.
I've tried to find a friend who would love me like you once did.

I've tried to be like you... so loving & friendly, outgoing & fun.

All just to find someone who would love me like you once did.

But everyone already has their sister, their best friend.

And I'm still here missing you...
my true best friend, my sister.