Candi's Memorial

The day of Candi's Memorial was the day of my 14th birthday, April 20, 1989.

I remember walking into the sanctuary and snapping this picture. It was the only picture I took that day. I remember greeting people for a while and then it started to sink in... Candi wasn't by my side. I really didn't know what to do. I was feeling overwhelmed and very alone. I remember my aunt walking over to me. She said, "Look up, Heidi. Find your strength and you can do this."

I didn't know it then, but I know it now... my strength came from God. He gave me the strength, at 14 years young, to stand up on the stage at church and speak in front of a crowd of hundreds of people. If anyone knew me at all, I was very shy and was often found standing by Candi's side... waiting for her to talk for me. God gave me the strength that day to speak and to stand after the service to hug hundreds of people as they told me of their condolences.

On this day in 1989, Candi was not there. But I know that God was. He walked with me onto the stage and He has walked with me every moment since.

This is a small excerpt from what I wrote and read at Candi's Memorial.

Emily Dickinson

Tie the strings to my life, my Lord,
Then I am ready to go!
Just a look at the horses—
Rapid! That will do!

Put me in on the firmest side,
So I shall never fall;
For we must ride to the Judgment,
And it ’s partly down hill.

But never I mind the bridges,
And never I mind the sea;
Held fast in everlasting race
By my own choice and thee.

Good-by to the life I used to live,
And the world I used to know;
And kiss the hills for me, just once;
Now I am ready to go!